IELTS Writing AI Logo
IELTS Writing AI
Band 9 SampleOpinion EssayTechnology

Band 9 Opinion Essay

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

258 words
35 minutes
Band 9

Key Features

  • Clear position throughout the essay
  • Well-developed arguments with specific examples
  • Sophisticated vocabulary and collocations
  • Complex sentence structures with accurate grammar
  • Effective use of cohesive devices

Practice Your Writing

Get AI feedback on your essay

Band 9 Essay

It is often argued that extending prison sentences is the most effective method to decrease criminal activity. While I acknowledge that longer terms may act as a deterrent, I strongly believe that addressing the root causes of crime through education and rehabilitation is far more effective in the long term.

On the one hand, there is no denying that longer prison sentences can serve as a powerful deterrent. When potential offenders are aware that they face substantial time behind bars, they may think twice before committing a crime. Furthermore, keeping criminals incarcerated for extended periods ensures that they cannot reoffend, thereby protecting society. Countries that have implemented stricter sentencing policies have often witnessed a temporary decline in certain types of crime, which lends some credibility to this approach.

On the other hand, I would argue that merely extending prison terms without addressing underlying issues is a shortsighted strategy. The root causes of crime, such as poverty, lack of education, and social inequality, remain unaddressed when we focus solely on punishment. Additionally, research has consistently shown that rehabilitation programs, including vocational training and psychological counseling, significantly reduce recidivism rates. By equipping offenders with skills and addressing their mental health needs, we prepare them for successful reintegration into society rather than simply warehousing them in prisons.

In conclusion, while longer prison sentences may offer short-term benefits in terms of deterrence, I firmly believe that a comprehensive approach focusing on education, rehabilitation, and addressing social inequalities is the most sustainable way to reduce crime in society.

(Word count: 258)

Vocabulary Highlights

deterrent

威慑

Band 8-9

serve as a powerful deterrent

recidivism

累犯

Band 9

reduce recidivism rates

incarcerated

被监禁的

Band 8

keeping criminals incarcerated

reintegration

重新融入

Band 9

successful reintegration into society

Grammar Highlights

It is often argued that... (passive construction)

While I acknowledge that..., I strongly believe that... (concessive clause)

By equipping offenders with..., we prepare them... (participial phrase)

research has consistently shown that... (present perfect)

Essay Structure

Introduction

Paraphrase the question + thesis statement

Body Paragraph 1

Argument 1: Benefits of longer sentences (deterrence, protection)

Body Paragraph 2

Argument 2: Counter-argument (root causes, rehabilitation, recidivism)

Conclusion

Restate position + summarize main points

Examiner Comments

Task Response

9

Fully addresses all parts of the task. Presents a clear position throughout. Ideas are well-developed with relevant examples.

How fully the question is answered, position is clear, ideas are developed

Coherence and Cohesion

9

Information and ideas are logically organized. Paragraphing is appropriate. A wide range of cohesive devices is used skillfully.

Organization, paragraphing, and use of cohesive devices

Lexical Resource

9

Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. Rare minor errors occur only as 'slips'.

Vocabulary range, accuracy, and appropriateness

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

9

Uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy. Error-free sentences are predominant.

Variety and accuracy of grammatical structures

Related Samples

Real User Reviews

10,000+ Test Takers Have Broken Through

Average improvement of 0.8 band, 73% break through the 6.5 plateau

S

Sarah K.

India

6.57.5(3 weeks)
The analysis showed I wasn't using examples properly. Once I fixed that, my score jumped! The AI feedback was incredibly specific.
Key BreakthroughIdentified Task Response issues
4.8/5
Average Rating
10,000+
Analyses Done
73%
Success Rate
+0.8
Avg. Improvement

Practice Makes Perfect

Use this Band 9 essay as a model. Write your own and get AI feedback.