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Band 9 SampleAdvantages & DisadvantagesWork

Band 9 Advantages & Disadvantages

More and more people are working from home rather than in offices. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

273 words
36 minutes
Band 9

Key Features

  • Clear position with balanced discussion of both sides
  • Specific examples for both advantages and disadvantages
  • Academic vocabulary and sophisticated expressions
  • Complex grammatical structures

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Band 9 Essay

The proliferation of remote work, accelerated by recent global events, has fundamentally transformed the modern workplace. While this trend presents certain challenges, I am firmly of the opinion that the advantages of working from home significantly outweigh the disadvantages.

There are undeniably some drawbacks to the remote work revolution. One major concern is the potential for professional isolation, which can lead to decreased collaboration and innovation within teams. The spontaneous interactions and brainstorming sessions that occur naturally in office environments are difficult to replicate virtually. Furthermore, the blurring of boundaries between work and personal life can result in burnout, as employees struggle to 'switch off' when their home becomes their workplace. Cybersecurity risks also increase when sensitive company data is accessed from numerous home networks.

Nevertheless, the benefits of remote work are substantial and far-reaching. From an individual perspective, employees save considerable time and money by eliminating daily commutes, leading to improved work-life balance and reduced stress levels. This flexibility is particularly valuable for parents, caregivers, and those with health conditions. From an organizational standpoint, companies can reduce overhead costs associated with maintaining large office spaces while simultaneously accessing a global talent pool unrestricted by geographical boundaries. Environmental benefits are also significant, with reduced commuting leading to lower carbon emissions.

In conclusion, while remote work presents legitimate challenges regarding collaboration and work-life boundaries, I strongly believe that its advantages—including improved quality of life, cost savings, and environmental benefits—make it a positive development for both individuals and society.

(Word count: 273)

Vocabulary Highlights

proliferation

激增

Band 9

proliferation of remote work

replicate

复制

Band 8

difficult to replicate virtually

burnout

倦怠

Band 8

can result in burnout

far-reaching

深远的

Band 9

substantial and far-reaching

Grammar Highlights

accelerated by recent global events (past participle phrase)

I am firmly of the opinion that (formal opinion phrase)

when their home becomes their workplace (time clause)

unrestricted by geographical boundaries (past participle phrase)

Essay Structure

Introduction

Context + thesis statement (advantages outweigh)

Body Paragraph 1

Disadvantages: Isolation, work-life boundaries, cybersecurity

Body Paragraph 2

Advantages: Commute savings, global talent, environmental benefits

Conclusion

Restate position with summary

Examiner Comments

Task Response

9

Fully addresses both sides with a clear position. Ideas are thoroughly developed.

How fully the question is answered, position is clear, ideas are developed

Coherence and Cohesion

9

Excellent paragraphing. Cohesive devices used skillfully.

Organization, paragraphing, and use of cohesive devices

Lexical Resource

9

Wide range of vocabulary with natural, sophisticated control.

Vocabulary range, accuracy, and appropriateness

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

9

Wide variety of complex structures with flexibility.

Variety and accuracy of grammatical structures

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