IELTS Writing AI Logo
IELTS Writing AI
Band 9 SampleDiscussion EssayFamily

Band 9 Discussion Essay

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on families and communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

268 words
37 minutes
Band 9

Key Features

  • Strong position with acknowledgment of counter-arguments
  • Well-developed arguments with specific consequences
  • Academic vocabulary and formal tone
  • Sophisticated cohesive devices

Practice Your Writing

Get AI feedback on your essay

Band 9 Essay

The rapid globalization of food culture has led to the widespread replacement of traditional cuisines with international fast food chains in numerous countries. While some argue that this trend has detrimental effects on families and communities, I strongly believe that the impact is largely negative, affecting both health and social structures.

There are admittedly some who might argue that fast food offers convenience that can actually benefit families. Working parents, pressed for time, may find that quick meals allow them to spend more quality time with their children rather than cooking elaborate traditional dishes. Additionally, fast food restaurants can serve as neutral meeting spaces for community members, providing affordable dining options that bring people together.

However, the negative consequences of this shift are far more significant. From a health perspective, the high sugar, salt, and fat content of fast food contributes to rising obesity rates and related health problems, placing long-term burdens on families and healthcare systems. Socially, the decline of traditional food culture erodes important family bonds; cooking and sharing traditional meals has historically been a cornerstone of family interaction and cultural transmission. When families opt for individual fast food meals consumed in front of screens rather than communal dining, they lose opportunities for meaningful conversation and connection. Furthermore, local food economies suffer as traditional restaurants and markets close, weakening community structures and cultural identity.

In conclusion, while fast food offers undeniable convenience, I firmly believe that its replacement of traditional foods has profoundly negative effects on family health, social bonds, and community structures that far outweigh any benefits.

(Word count: 268)

Vocabulary Highlights

globalization

全球化

Band 9

rapid globalization of food culture

erodes

侵蚀

Band 8-9

erodes important family bonds

cornerstone

基石

Band 9

cornerstone of family interaction

communal

公共的

Band 8

communal dining

Grammar Highlights

While some argue that... (concessive clause)

pressed for time (past participle phrase)

rather than cooking elaborate traditional dishes (parallel structure)

When families opt for... (subordinate clause)

Essay Structure

Introduction

Context + thesis statement (strongly agree - negative effects)

Body Paragraph 1

Counter-argument: Convenience benefits for families

Body Paragraph 2

Main argument: Health consequences, erosion of family bonds, community impact

Conclusion

Restate strong position

Examiner Comments

Task Response

9

Fully addresses all parts with a clear position. Arguments are well-developed with relevant examples.

How fully the question is answered, position is clear, ideas are developed

Coherence and Cohesion

9

Logical progression throughout. Cohesive devices used effectively.

Organization, paragraphing, and use of cohesive devices

Lexical Resource

9

Wide range of vocabulary with precise word choice.

Vocabulary range, accuracy, and appropriateness

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

9

Complex structures with full flexibility and accuracy.

Variety and accuracy of grammatical structures

Related Samples

Real User Reviews

10,000+ Test Takers Have Broken Through

Average improvement of 0.8 band, 73% break through the 6.5 plateau

S

Sarah K.

India

6.57.5(3 weeks)
The analysis showed I wasn't using examples properly. Once I fixed that, my score jumped! The AI feedback was incredibly specific.
Key BreakthroughIdentified Task Response issues
4.8/5
Average Rating
10,000+
Analyses Done
73%
Success Rate
+0.8
Avg. Improvement

Practice Makes Perfect

Use this Band 9 essay as a model. Write your own and get AI feedback.