IELTS Writing AI Logo
IELTS Writing AI
Band 9 SampleDiscussion EssayMoney

Band 9 Discussion Essay

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

268 words
36 minutes
Band 9

Key Features

  • Balanced discussion with clear personal opinion
  • Well-developed arguments for both sides
  • Academic vocabulary and formal tone
  • Sophisticated grammatical structures

Practice Your Writing

Get AI feedback on your essay

Band 9 Essay

When choosing a career path, individuals often face the dilemma of prioritizing either a high salary or personal job satisfaction. While some argue that financial compensation should be the primary consideration, others believe that enjoying one's work is more important. This essay will examine both perspectives before arguing that while financial security is essential, job satisfaction ultimately contributes more to long-term wellbeing.

Those who prioritize high salaries make several compelling arguments. Financial security provides peace of mind and enables individuals to support their families, save for retirement, and enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. In an increasingly expensive world, a substantial income can alleviate stress related to housing, healthcare, and education costs. Furthermore, high-paying positions often come with greater social status and opportunities for advancement, which can be motivating factors for ambitious professionals.

However, proponents of job satisfaction argue that monetary rewards alone cannot guarantee happiness or fulfillment. Spending the majority of one's waking hours in a job that feels meaningless or stressful can lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression, regardless of the salary. When people are passionate about their work, they tend to be more productive, creative, and engaged, often leading to better performance and eventual career success anyway. Moreover, the growing trend of individuals leaving lucrative careers for more fulfilling pursuits suggests that intrinsic motivation often outweighs financial incentives in the long run.

In my view, while financial considerations cannot be ignored, job satisfaction should be the primary factor in career decisions. A reasonable salary that meets basic needs, combined with work that provides meaning and engagement, offers the best foundation for a satisfying life.

(Word count: 268)

Vocabulary Highlights

dilemma

困境

Band 8

face the dilemma of prioritizing

compelling

令人信服的

Band 8

make several compelling arguments

burnout

倦怠

Band 8

lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression

intrinsic

内在的

Band 9

intrinsic motivation

Grammar Highlights

individuals often face the dilemma of prioritizing (complex object)

while financial security is essential (concessive clause)

Spending the majority of one's waking hours... can lead to (gerund as subject)

suggests that intrinsic motivation often outweighs (reported speech)

Essay Structure

Introduction

Context + both views + thesis statement

Body Paragraph 1

View 1: Benefits of high salary (security, status, advancement)

Body Paragraph 2

View 2: Benefits of job satisfaction (fulfillment, productivity, intrinsic motivation)

Conclusion

Personal opinion + balanced conclusion

Examiner Comments

Task Response

9

Fully addresses both sides with a clear personal position. Arguments are well-developed.

How fully the question is answered, position is clear, ideas are developed

Coherence and Cohesion

9

Excellent paragraphing. Cohesive devices used skillfully.

Organization, paragraphing, and use of cohesive devices

Lexical Resource

9

Wide range of vocabulary with sophisticated word choice.

Vocabulary range, accuracy, and appropriateness

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

9

Wide variety of complex structures.

Variety and accuracy of grammatical structures

Related Samples

Real User Reviews

10,000+ Test Takers Have Broken Through

Average improvement of 0.8 band, 73% break through the 6.5 plateau

S

Sarah K.

India

6.57.5(3 weeks)
The analysis showed I wasn't using examples properly. Once I fixed that, my score jumped! The AI feedback was incredibly specific.
Key BreakthroughIdentified Task Response issues
4.8/5
Average Rating
10,000+
Analyses Done
73%
Success Rate
+0.8
Avg. Improvement

Practice Makes Perfect

Use this Band 9 essay as a model. Write your own and get AI feedback.